How to Get to Know Someone Deeply: Go Beyond Just Talk

In the bustling city of London, where time is precious and social bonds are gold, the quest for meaningful connections has never been more important. Whether you're navigating the maze of professional networking or seeking to forge personal ties, understanding how to get to know someone deeply is an art worth mastering. You have probably already googled what deep questions to ask someone to get to know them deeply. If you still feel there is room for deeper exploration, it's probably because there is. We learn about ourselves and others best through interpersonal relationships, we also enjoy life more when shared with someone. It's the power of shared experiences rather than exchange of words that unveil the layers of a person's soul.

 

three friends picture collage showing they are on their way to skateboard

What Creates Deep Connections?

When we meet someone we relate to our amygdala part of the brain is activated. It's what makes the connecting effortless and comfortable. However, what explains deep connection is a different part called temporoparietal junction. This part is switched on when we share something with others. Sharing produces a spike in oxytocin, a love hormone, and as it turns out sharing is not really what caring is - sharing is what makes us care.

 

Imagine you're at a workshop, hands dipped in paint or clay, you're slightly nervous and uncomfortable doing this for the first time. You're not just talking; you're doing. It's in these moments, shared experiences both triumphant and challenging, that true connections are forged. Conversations can introduce you to someone's mind, but shared experiences invite you into their heart. From the victory of a well-played game to the contemplative silence of an art class, these are the moments that show us how to get to know someone deeply.

Deep Questions: a Good Start, But is it Enough?

Curiosity is our precious compass. But what are the right questions to ask? Imagine asking your new friend "What dish reminds you of home and why?" or during a quiet moment in a scenic hike, "What has been your greatest challenge and how did you overcome it?" These inquiries go beyond the surface, probing the depths of experiences, values, and dreams. They are the seeds from which understanding and empathy grow.

However, are the questions enough to know someone's character? After all, we hear an answer from their point of view only. As a famous saying goes: "hard times will always reveal true friends" and there are many ways one can get a better flavour of someone's character without asking a single question.

 

three friends doing a hike in a beautiful forest

Shared Experiences That Help To Get To Know Someone Deeply

Be it a common DIY project, cooking together, or a thrilling adventure, it's all a window into someone's true essence. Through these shared moments, you learn not just about people's tastes, but about their character, their reactions to success and setback, their teamwork spirit, and their openness to new experiences. Here's some activity ideas you may want to try out to really get to know someone deeply:

Arts or Crafts Workshop

Learn how patient and open-minded someone is. When making art, things don't often come out the way you want it. Through this experience you get to see how someone embraces imperfections, do they keep going to see where it goes anyways or do they drop it and leave?

 

two friends are making some drawings and watercolour art together

Sports

Play any sport and you will quickly learn how someone deals with wins and losses. How do they treat someone on their team who's still learning? Do they take more of a leadership role or stay back and let others take charge? Pay attention to their and your own emotions as you're tackling a common challenge.

Games

Learn how competitive and resilient someone is. Do they prioritise winning at all costs or are they here for good time and laughs? Can they enjoy the process of getting good at someone and playing a game that they may not be naturally good at?

 

A couple is playing jenga at their living room

Escape Room

This is one of our favourite, and if you've done an escape room before you know it can get heated. This is a perfect activity to gauge how competitive or argumentative someone is and how they operate under pressure. Are they a natural team player or do they need to be involved in every team decision?

Cooking Class

Learn how creative, open-minded and team oriented someone is. Are you a person who follows instructions meticulously or do you love going a little off script and add your own zest? Besides, food and drink has been united people through centuries.

Exploration Adventure

Learn how compassionate and organised someone is. Go on a hike and notice what they bring along? Are they prepared for any obstacle or do you end up sharing your water bottle? Do they adjust to your pace, strength and needs? Going on an adventure can create lasting core memories as you all experience new 'firsts': first time you take a route, first time you see wildlife, first time you get lost in that forest, etc.

 

How Long Does it Take to Truly Get to Know Someone?

So, how long does it take to truly get to know someone? It depends on how quickly you open up, how deep your conversations are and what sort of activities you do. Watching TV together for weeks could never get you there. While going on a few common adventures and challenges can get you fairly close in a matter of days. However, the key is to understand that the journey of discovery is not measured in days or months. The secret is in the depth of experiences and conversations shared. Patience is your ally; curiosity, your guide.

Two friends are making pasta together in their kitchen

Do You Ever Really Get to Know Someone?

Can you ever fully know someone? The question itself is a reflection of our own complexities. Nothing is ever truly constant, people evolve and change, revealing new horizons with every experience. To get to know someone deeply is to embrace this journey of continuous discovery, to cherish each revelation while anticipating the mystery that the next moment holds.

Conclusion: Be Brave and Open Up

In the heart of London, where every corner holds a story and every street echoes with the steps of potential friends. If you're looking for a quick and easy way to form deep connections you can try BesidesWork. It is more than a social network club. Through sports, games, creative workshops, and adventures, it offers not just activities but opportunities to create genuine relationships. Getting to know someone deeply is an adventure, a challenge, and a gift, all rolled into one. Embark on this journey with an open heart, a curious mind, and the courage to explore the depths of human connection.

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