Introduction: The Unspoken Loneliness Epidemic
In the heart of one of the world's most connected countries lies an ironic truth: 46% of UK adults feel lonely every week. This shows the strange contradiction of today's world - we're more connected than ever, but still deeply lonely. Moreover, the loneliness is most prominent among the young population. For those navigating their 30s whilst living in London, solitude takes on a unique shape. Among a sea of faces, the struggle of balancing life commitments and making friends in your 30s brings a friendship crisis that nobody warned us about.
Why is Making Friends in Your 30s so Hard?
If you find making friends in your 30s really hard, you are not alone. For most of us, it's a time filled with unspoken social complexities and obstacles. The ease of making friends during university or early career stages is over.
Instead, your mind is more often than not preoccupied with the demands of work, family responsibilities, people relocating city to city, and the pressure to 'have it all together'. Consequently, for many, life in their 30s becomes less about gathering many friends and more about assessing if you even have the energy for social interactions after a long work week.
How Difficult is Making Friends in London?
The challenge of making friends in your 30s is particularly magnified in London. The city's pace is relentless, its people often too busy with their own problems to lend an ear or spare time. In fact, a study commissioned by GLA pointed out 5 major reasons that lead to feelings of loneliness. Unsurprisingly, London plays a significant role in 4 of them:
- Severe poverty
- Transition (have spent less than 1 year in London)
- Being single
- Facing bias or discrimination
In conclusion, while the lack of community and belonging in large cities is somewhat to blame, there are many other factors to consider. Especially those who are young, single, and frequently use social media tend to experience higher levels of loneliness. In addition, the cost-of-living crisis and pandemic have exacerbated the issue substantially.
So, how do you make friends in London in your 30s?
Most people in the UK meet their friends at work or school. However, what do you do if your work is not so sociable or you don't even have an office to go to in a post pandemic world?
1. Join Community Activities
Joining local groups or classes in London isn't just about picking up a new hobby; it's about finding your community. Whether it's a pottery workshop in Clapham or a dance class in Dalston, these settings provide relaxed environments to meet people with shared interests. Luckily, platforms like BesidesWork help you find communities near you at ease.
2. Try Online Groups and Apps That Help Meeting New People
In this digital age, technology has changed the way we connect with others. So why not use its power to help us make friends in London? Social media platforms and networking apps have made it easier than ever to find like-minded individuals in your area.
Start by joining local Facebook groups, following Reddit threads or Instagram accounts that focus on community events and activities that facilitate making friends in London. Alternatively, if opening up to the entire web feels a little daunting, you can try platforms like BesidesWork to help establish those initial connections.
These platforms often share valuable information about upcoming gatherings and provide a space for like-minded individuals to connect. Engage in conversations, ask questions, and offer suggestions - you never know who you might meet virtually.
3. Can You Make Authentic Connections at the Networking Event?
Networking events are becoming the new-age social clubs. But how often do these interactions go beyond LinkedIn connections and business cards?
The thing is, networking doesn’t have to be all business. You can easily turn one of those events into a springboard for making friends and connections. The fact that you share similar line of work and experiences already gives you a lot to connect over. The trick is to seek out events that align with your personal interests, not just your professional ones.
How many friends does an average person in the UK have?
Our obsession with social media followers and networking connections has skewed our perception of friendships. We’re collecting friends like trophies, a sad testament to the superficiality of modern social interactions. As a result, you might think you're the only one with only a few friends that you can count on one hand. However, the reality is that in the UK the majority of people say they have 2-3 close friends.
In addition, in one of the famous books on interpersonal dynamics, experts David Bradford and Carole Robin argue that at any point in time we are not able to have more than 5 close relationships with someone. It's no secret that deep relationships are hard work, requiring an intense amount of time and effort. In fact, they believe that having even one close friend, no matter where they live, is a sign of great fortune.
Conclusion: Embracing the Challenge
In summary, making friends in London in your 30s is an adventure, a mix of trials and errors. The most important thing is to embrace the city’s dynamic pace, explore its diverse communities, and be open to the many unexpected ways connections can unfold. Remember, every interaction, every shared interest, and every new encounter is a step towards building your unique London story.